Only the Gnome Knows

Finally, true intrigue in the neighborhood. Unfortunately, a gag order has been issued due to the sensitive nature of the on-going investigation. Details that could only be known by the the perpetrator and the responding crime scene analysts are not being released at this time. We are able report that all husbands and children have been ruled out as suspects due to evidence of a concern for tidiness at the crime scene which does not fit their profile.


The only witness, this guy:





And he is not talking.

If national security were at stake Jack Bauer would be called in, or at least channeled, for the interrogation, but we believe the threat is localized and are confident that questioning by our crack team of Citizen's Academy graduates will eventually get results.

Until there is a suspect in custody, be on the lookout for individuals nervously loitering near vending machines while worrying excessive amounts of change in their pockets. Use all caution as the suspect may be over-caffeinated and dangerous.