"Lucy! Now Look What You've Gotten Us Into!"

Last year, on a trip to the Schaumburg, Illinois Ikea an innocent mistake led to an unfortunate incident with an escalator. Just to show that NDL and companions learn from their experiences, and to help others learn from them too, we returned to the scene (got back on the dala horse, so to speak) to create a tutorial on:

"How Not to Cause the Ikea Cart Escalator to Come to a Stop, Draw a Crowd, Inconvenience Fellow Customers, and Give Ikea Staff Another Dumb Customer Anecdote for the Annual Meeting."

1. Before sliding cart into the escalator feed, make sure all items are actually in the cart and not perched precariously on top of a bulky box of Ektorp, Malm, or Poang components.




2. Trust that the cart escalator really works and your cart full of Swedish glassware will not plummet down the incline. Go on. Let it go.




3. At this point, should an item, such as a package of Kram paper napkins slip off the top of your merchandise pile - DO NOT REACH FOR IT! The laser eye across the top will think your hand is a small child trying to use the cart escalator as a slide and will SHUT DOWN COMPLETELY.

It is also a good idea to act nonchalant and not look at your cart. Then, if the escalator does SHUT DOWN COMPLETELY you have the option of walking away, finding another cart, reselecting the cart contents, and giving it another try after the problem with the unclaimed mystery cart is cleared up.




4. Wait patiently for the cart to descend. Keep thinking - "MUST NOT REACH INTO THE EMBARRASSMENT ZONE."


5. Retrieve your cart.




6. Walk away.




7. A victory dance is allowed once you have reached the back corner of the floor covering department where your fist pumping and singing of the Rocky Theme will be hidden, and muffled, by large Turkish area rugs.

This has been a Public Service Announcement from NDL.

Many thanks to my lovely assistant.

Remember: If we can do it, you certainly can too.