Neighborhood Watch Caught Napping

A giftwrapped parcel was left in our mailbox a few nights ago.

Inside we found this book:

With the following note attached:

For Dr. Retlow,

Important:

Open Immediately!

DO NOT WAIT FOR CHRISTMAS!

The note was unsigned. We love/hate a mystery.

Handwriting analysis has eliminated some obvious suspects.

The use of a title of respect has cleared even more persons of interest.

Alibis have been provided by yet another category of possible stealth gifters.

Who could have left this anonymous present?

At this time we are pursuing the theory that the gnomes themselves have planted this intel because they do enjoy a fair fight.

If you witnessed any suspicious activity on the night of December 10, between 6:00 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. please contact our anonymous tip line at 1-888-ISN-ITCH.

Perhaps the gift giver truly has our best interests in mind, however the possibility of a psych-out by the enemy is not out of the question.

Keep your eyes peeled.