We'll try not to cause any international incidents, but we really can't make any promises.
The precedent for Americans in Paris has been set by another jet-setting set of chums, Lucy and Ethel.
We will try to remember the lessons learned from their sitcom adventures and think of them as cautionary tales rather than as instructional travelogues. Here are a few classic lines we'll try not to repeat. (We are perfectly capable of committing our own faux pas, merci beaucoup.)
Lucy: Nobody speaks English. They're all foreigners.
Lucy: Waiter, this food has snails in it.
Lucy: Since when is it a crime to put ketchup on snails?
Lucy: Listen, thanks to me you got to do something that very few Americans get to do. You got to see the inside of a French jail.