Time Warp Tag Team

Oak leaf blocks appliqued by Mom in the 70s and made into a little quilt  in 2012 by NDL.

Machine quilting by J. Bauer.

Turkey ala Carte

We wish for you a Thanksgiving day that is to scale,

 and filled with the correct proportions of family, friends, fun, and food.

Image courtesy of The Graphics Fairy.

Table Talk

It's been awhile since we have used the blog label "Kindergarten Humor" so, for the upcoming holiday, may we present some truly juvenile jokes and riddles for your amusement and as possible fillers for awkward gaps in, or for swift topic changes during Thanksgiving dinner conversation. 

1. What does a turkey like to eat at Thanksgiving? (see all answers below)

2. What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?

3. What do you call it when it rains turkeys?

4. Why did the turkey cross the road?

5. What happened when the turkey got into a fight?

6. Which side of a turkey has the most feathers?

7. Why did the turkey cross the road a second time?

8. What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter? 

After Thanksgiving dinner was finished, Paul saw his little brother Stevie in the backyard poking holes in the dirt and filling them in with birdseed.

"Why are you planting birdseed?" Paul asked.

"I'm growing next year's turkey," Stevie replied. 

An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey. 
His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the tavern.

"Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!" 

"How did it taste?", they asked the farmer.

"I don’t know", said the farmer. "I never could catch the darn thing!"

The football team had just finished their practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. 

When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, 

"You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus." 

"Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"

Answers:

1. Nothing. They are already stuffed.

2. A drumstick for everybody.

3. Fowl weather.

4. It was the chicken's day off.

5. He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

6. The outside!

7. To show he wasn't chicken.

8. "Quack! Quack! Quack!"



Image courtesy of The Graphics Fairy.

Bean Season

When there's a chill in the air it's time for beans to be on the stove or in the oven.

We found these heirloom varieties, Appaloosa and Soldier, at a SD farmers' market. 

The pretty-as-a-pony Appaloosa beans were perfect for Rancho Gordo's Drunken Bean recipe.

Do you see the European or toy soldier? 

Soldier beans are commonly grown in New England 

and are used in traditional baked beans recipes like this one:

Sort 1 pound beans and soak overnight. Parboil and simmer at least 1 hour until beans are tender. Drain.
Put in bean pot. 

Add:

1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. dry mustard
1 small piece salt pork, or raw bacon chopped up into 1 inch pieces
1/2 c. molasses
1 large onion, cut up

Barely cover beans with boiling water.  Bake about 6 hours at 300 degrees with lid on pot, constantly adding boiling water when they are not covered. Last hour, remove pot lid and continue to bake.

Before Hipstamatic...

We frequently took wonky, overexposed photos with artistic appeal all on our own, 

and usually quite by accident.

When we first saw this vintage shot taken by Dad we thought his faithful lawn tractor, Major Hoople, was the intended subject of the photograph, and that it managed to end up way off-center. Closer inspection and a bit of magnification shows us what probably made Dad stop mid-mow and run to grab his camera. 

Can you spy them?

Even though it is likely the deer out in the field were supposed to be the reason for the photo
we are glad the Major made it into the picture if only partially.

This image makes us smile every time we see it.

After Dad's recent move to the city from the country Major Hoople had to find a new home. He made a nearly 600 mile trip by trailer to WI, and is snugly bedded down for the winter in our garage where we see his shining cyclops headlight every time we return home and hit the button on the garage door opener. 

The Major is a pretty big memento to keep, but we couldn't let him go to a home where he might not be understood and appreciated. Better he is put out to pasture with those who love him. Dad felt better about letting him go knowing he would stay in the family and we are happy to have him.

Our Town

For your weekend (or of course anytime) viewing, an hour of  life in 1954 Chippewa Falls.

While some of our native-to-this-city neighbors were riding around town on their bicycles and swimming in Glen Loch their parents, and uncles and aunts were off working in the businesses and industries of this bustling burg. When not contributing to the vibrant economic health of our town they made use of the many recreational opportunities available to them at the numerous parks and lakes in our area.



This 1954 Carson production promoting Chippewa Falls features Sally Ann Bakery, Chippewa and Mason shoe factories, Leinenkugels brewery, Chippewa Woolen Mill, plastics and pea canning operations, Olesen Drug Store, Falls and Rivoli theaters, Hotel Northern, 1st National Bank as well as recreation at Irvine Park, Marshall Playground, and Lake Wissota. The Carnegie Library, schools, the hospital, and other community buildings are also represented.

If you are really short on time (although we would encourage you to watch the entire film when you can), jump to the last ten minutes of the film to see one of our existing businesses - Leinenkugel's Brewery, a well known (if you know her maiden name) resident demonstrating gymnastics, and a lovely summation about the heart and soul of the citizens of Chippewa Falls that makes our town great. True then and true now.

Let us know if you spot yourself or others we might or should know in these fascinating vignettes of mid-century Chippewa Falls life. 

Whooo Will Take Us Home?

When the thrift store has an entire shelf of a certain kind of collection, it causes us to pause 

and think about the story behind the donation.

 Common displays of mass tchotchke are often in categories such as bells, souvenir teaspoons, state plates, teacups, trinket boxes, owls, turtles or other animal figurines, and of course salt and pepper sets.

Who collected them and why did they stop? 

Vintage items suggest that the owner has passed on and there was no heir interested in keeping their curio collection. A rainbow unicorn assemblage makes us smile and think that an adolescent has moved to young adulthood and did not have a younger sibling, or at least not one of the gender who appreciates puppies, kittens, ballerinas, and fantastic animals enough to inherit big sis' stash of bric-a-brac.

With respect we select and adopt as many orphans as we can sneak into the house.

Hoping of course that someday someone will cherish our little treasures too.

How could they not?

Extreme Editing

IMDB"s Top 250 movies in 2 1/2 minutes by Jonathan Keogh. If you are an avid movie goer it is kind of like having your own movie-watching life pass before your eyes. 

Marvel at the awesomeness of the editing and music, and see if this brief, long history of great cinema jogs your brain to remember where in your life journey you were when you saw (fill in the blank). 

Just a little ratings tip in case the little ones are in the room...

a couple of F-bombs fall somewhere in the middle.

Adieu

Sweet Juliet. The very last garden tomato. Gone, but not forgotten.

And, we wondered, when parting what is the difference between "adieu" and "au revoir"?

The interweb tells us that "adieu" is appropriate for a final parting. 

There will be other Juliets, but never will we see or taste this one again. She was delicious.

Smell My Feet

More holiday themed printables from A Pair of Pears in collaboration with The Sweetest Occasion.

And look at this...we did a little culinary experimenting and came up with a whole new variation of the candy corn and peanut taste treat sensation. Yes, we added M and Ms. Genius time!
How do we do it?

Sweet, Salty, and Spooky

Treat bag toppers generously shared by A Pair of Pears for you to download and use 

for your favorite Halloween munchies.

Here is an official recipe for this tasty seasonal combo. Gosh, we set the timer for the estimated 10 minute prep time and when we hit stop 9 minutes and 10 seconds remained. 

It would be interesting to see if in slow-mo one could actually drag out the process for 10 whole minutes. We'd like to see that.Well, hmmm, maybe not really.

Off-Color for a Creepy Cause

Halloween of course!

Over at the teacup incident you can learn how to make Halloween postcards from your own photos or,

save and print these clever ones that the creator has graciously shared.

 Talented and clever. The dream team of fine qualities to possess.

Thank you Sharon at the teacup incident!

Heading South

We will miss our fine-feathered friends.

  

Some more than others (like those who offer only an asthmatic wheeze instead of a song), 

but safe journey to all and come back soon.

Leave it to Betty

 To come up with a great idea. 

The weekend forecast is favorable. 

Grab a sweater and a friend and a fish, or a friend who is a fish, or a friendly fish, 

and enjoy some dining al fresco while you still can.

Power Pants

No messing around here. 

These are some serious slacks, Bermuda shorts and short shorts.

Just thought you would enjoy seeing them. Did you?

It's Alive!

These days customers can wander for hours in department stores that are more like ghost towns than the bustling bastions of luxury shopping they once were. We have been tempted to set a stopwatch to see how long it would take before any of the very few remaining staff positioned mostly at checkout centers might ask if we need any help. Our suspicion is that the clock would keep running forever. Remember when sales people were so persistently present that you had to beg just  to browse on your own? It was sometimes annoying, but we actually kind of miss the attention and do occasionally wish for some help.

Well, we are glad to report that in some small pockets of the retail industry service lives on.  Our recent experience with a young salesperson who stuck with us through the entire process of testing mattresses for a guest bedroom, making a selection, and arranging for delivery was quite satisfying. A few weeks later he followed through with a phone call to make sure we were getting a good night's sleep, and then sent a postcard which was not only thoughtful, but brought smiles to our faces.

Be Prepared

Should you come across a lovely ripe fig here is a wonderful thing to do with it.

ROASTED FIG AND GOAT CHEESE SALAD

From ChezM

6 plump black figs

Vinaigrette: 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar and

1/3 cup olive oil, seasoned to taste

6 slices of a firm goat cheese

6 cups arugula or frisee salad greens

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees and oil a casserole.

Score the bottoms of the figs and roast them for 10 minutes until they are soft.

Assemble the vinaigrette in a small container and toss half of it

with the greens. Distribute the greens among 6 plates.

Lay a slice of goat cheese on each bed of greens.

Top with a warm fig and drizzle the remaining vinaigrette over the figs before serving.

Serves 6

The Dirty Dancing Cure

Recently, in an effort to clean-up an ongoing problem with poor etiquette at school dances, administrators at Sheboygan North High School took a page straight from Mrs. PiggleWiggle. 

When the homecoming dance started to resemble the sultriest scenes from Dirty Dancing rather than the mostly innocent, carefree choreography of Footloose administrators conferred in the hallway outside the dance and decided that Principal Jason Bull would read a pre-written statement. 

The statement outlined options for the evening that seemed inspired by Mrs. PW whose magical child-raising cures were probably not coincidentally very much like the parenting technique that promotes natural consequences for undesirable behaviors.

"When Bull took the stage, he said a group of students belonging to the original group of offenders began chanting obscenities, which riled up the students.

Bull told students that the dance was canceled in an effort to quell the chants and focus students’ attention.

Minutes later, Bull said students seemed to be in a better frame of mind to listen, at which point, he proceeded with the original message, which detailed that if inappropriate behavior were to continue, the lights would stay on, the chicken dance song would be played for the rest of the night, and/or the dance would be canceled.

After the announcement, some students chose to leave voluntarily, but the majority stayed, according to Bull, and the dance resumed as planned." - Green Bay Press Gazette.com     

Well done Principal Bull, Mrs. Piggle Wiggle would be proud! 

So proud in fact that maybe she would dance a little jig.

Figs in the Wild

Where we live, some things do not grow on trees. The first of these things is money. 

In the midwest we learn very early from our hardworking parents that even though we might think it does, 

"Money doesn't grow on trees". There  are no two ways about it. 

Those go-go boots are not gonna happen for you even though everybody else has them.

Other revelations take much longer for some of us to receive. When your life-long relationship with a fig has been exclusively with its twisted sister the Newton, it is hard to imagine that the raw source of the crunchy, weird, brown filling could be a wonderful and amazing food like the succulent, naturally ripe fig.

It seems like something out of a fairy tale too incredible to be true, but there are parts of the world (some even on our own continent, but in this case beautiful Provence, France) where you can walk up to a tree, pick a plump purple fig, and enjoy it on a splendid sunny day, while standing in an olive farm parking lot.

Hmmm...will they tell us next, that dates grow on trees and anchovies swim in the sea? 

Nectar of Life

Olive oil. 

In particular Castelas olive oil grown in the shadow of Les Baux de Provence.

 Drizzle it on soups, salads, and bread. Make a beautiful vinaigrette. What more does a person need?

 It is available to us without having to buy a plane ticket or suffer jet-lag,

But of course it is more fun to go get it yourself.